Regrets
by sailortsun
Summary: "It was in the way that she turned from him, her hair elegantly following her every movement, that Shikamaru realized that they were both horrible liars." / In which Shikamaru realizes regrets will follow you to the ends of the Earth.


The first time Shikamaru can truly recall having a conversation with Hinata that went beyond obligatory greetings, was the first time Team 8 and Team 10 realized their teachers were dating. Or — at the very least— the two adults were entertaining the idea of being more than just _friends_.

Of course, being the introspective genius that many had claimed the Nara to be, Shikamaru had known about their teacher's affections for each other —even _before_ Ino had called the 'emergency' meeting between the two teams.

The blonde had taken it upon herself to call an urgent meeting; every one of Team 8 and Team 10 (besides their teachers of course) was to meet at Ichiraku's that day. Shikamaru had thought it was too much work — not seeing why they had to meddle in Asuma's love life — but Ino had a knack to bend her two male teammates to her will. Her unshakable resolve to have things her way reminded him of his mother, Yoshino.

In other words, Shikamaru found this whole ordeal to be…troublesome.

Shikamaru and Ino had arrived together at the destination; Ino felt as though if she hadn't personally escorted him, he wouldn't have come — which was true. Chouji was there before his teammates, and by the time they arrived he was found to be chatting with Teuchi. Holding the flap above her head with her arm, Ino rolled her eyes as Shikamaru deliberately went in first, letting Ino hold up the flap for him.

" _Gee_ ," Ino said in an exasperated tone as she walked in after Shikamaru, "You have such great manners."

Shikamaru shrugged at her blatant sarcasm, and went off to sit next to Chouji. With a huff, Ino tightened her ponytail, something she did whenever she was irritated with either the young Nara or the Akimichi, and sat on the other side of Chouji.

"Yakiniku would have been a better place, Ino." Chouji muttered disapprovingly after greeting his teammates, while he fished around for a potato chip in the bag he was holding. Groaning, Ino took the bag from him and told him it was rude to say something like that right in front of Teuchi. In turn, the kind owner of Ichiraku said he didn't mind.

Eyeing the empty bowls Teuchi was holding Shikamaru gave out a small laugh. "Besides, you already had your fill here."

Chouji attempted to take back his potato chips from Ino, and was about to reply to Shikamaru, until the InoShikaCho trio sensed familiar chakra presences coming their way. Begrudgingly returning the bag of chips to their original owner, Ino watched the entrance expectantly while Shikamaru fought off the urge to take a quick nap.

And in came Team 8, more or less in sync with their movements. Shikamaru lazily turned around in his seat in order to get a better look at them. Hinata, he noticed, was placed strategically in between the two taller teammates of hers. From that formation alone, it was evident to the Nara that the two male members of team Kurenai was very protective over their petite female member.

Kiba was on her right, with his ninken placed on his head as always, and he greeted the trio with a toothy grin that showed his canine-like teeth. As though knowing to greet them, Akamaru barked, to which Ino snidely remarked: "Wow, Shika. Even a dog has better manners than you."

On the Hyuuga's left, was Shino Aburame. Shikamaru didn't know much about him, and he guessed no one besides his family and Team 8 really knew anything about him either. His eyes and his mouth were covered, so his expression was left up to one's own interpretation as he greeted Asuma's students in a monotone voice.

And then there was Hinata Hyuuga. She was looking at her feet when she first came in, and only looked up after hearing the end of Shino's greeting; Shikamaru knew she only looked up since it was her turn to greet them — and Hyuugas were very big on being polite. Unlike the other Hyuugas, namely Neji who was placed in Team Gai, Hinata seemed to lack an air of confidence. When it came to herself, she was clumsy — tripping over her own words and being unsure of every movement she made. Frankly, just watching her tended to be frustrating.

She was playing with her fingers, Shikamaru saw, but still willed herself to make eye contact as she greeted each member with a shaky hello.

It was obvious how painfully shy she was — she was more or less known for it — but seeing it up close made Shikamaru sigh tiredly.

Team 10 offered their own greetings, and Ino prompted Kurenai's students to sit in the remaining seats. Hinata was the first to act, as she timidly asked Ino If it was alright for their teams to take up Ichiraku's like this. Ino smiled brightly at the girl, and triumphantly said that she had it covered — she told Teuchi beforehand that they were doing top secret ninja business today.

This time, Shikamaru rolled his eyes at his teammates actions. Ino, however, paid no heed to Shikamaru since Hinata had genuinely told Ino that it was smart of her to do that. A bit taken aback by Hinata's unabashed, sincere compliment, Ino smiled even wider.

Shikamaru saw how Hinata took joy in seeing Ino happy as she responded to Ino's grin with a warm smile of her own. While this small little exchange between the two kunoichi was taking place, Kiba and Shino already sat down.

A bit slow on the uptake, Hinata's cheeks grew pink—which was something Shikamaru noticed happens a lot— as she took the seat next to Shikamaru.

"S-Shikamaru," She greeted again, with a small nod. He turned back around, facing the inside of Ichiraku again, and gave a noncommittal grunt in response.

Now that greetings were out of the way, Ino had felt it proper to initiate the meeting. Clearing her throat, she declared in a bold voice that the "Asuma-Kurenai" meeting was now underway. Shikamaru mockingly commended Ino on how subtle she was being, to which Ino told him to shut his mouth. Chouji, eloquently placed in between the two, beckoned to Teuchi, which effectively stopped the incoming banter.

Knowing what he was about to do, Ino pouted. She told him that he had already eaten – and besides, they had more pressing matters to deal with, now that Team 8 has just arrived. But before Ino could proceed with her 'meeting', Teuchi was already taking the orders of Kiba and Chouji. Recognizing when she was defeated, Ino slumped and mumbled out her own order for a bowl of ramen.

' _After lunch, we'll definitely talk'_ , was the thought that Ino fed herself in order to mollify her need for things to go (more or less) her way.

Shikamaru knew Shino wouldn't order ramen, but he still had a slight glimmer of hope that he would see the Aburame's face, and silently wished that the Aburame _would_ order a bowl. That glimmer was mercilessly dashed when Hinata told him that she and Shino had already eaten.

Finding slight amusement in Shikamaru's dejection, which was only noted by a very minuscule drop of his already slumped shoulders, Hinata bit her lip in order to hold back a giggle. Raising a brow at this, Shikamaru made it known to Hinata that her amusement wasn't going unnoticed.

"What's so funny?" He asked lazily, his face still holding the utmost of indifference, as he propped his head up by putting his elbow on the counter and leaning his chin into the palm of his hand. This direct form of conversation (and the sudden eye contact) took Hinata by surprise, even though she knew she was at fault for _almost_ laughing at the male, and instead of a light pink, her cheeks grew red. Seeing as Shino and Kiba didn't take alarm to their flustered teammate, Shikamaru inferred that it was a typical occurrence — which he found interesting.

"I — I didn't —" Hinata began to stammer, before ultimately sputtering down into a final apology. Playing with her fingers again, she took to staring at the counter. Shikamaru frowned at the way she had effectively ended the conversation, but didn't take offense since he knew that she favored silence the way he did.

However, before he could divert his attention, it was Hinata's turn to take him by surprise. She had felt bad for suddenly cutting off the conversation, and was grateful to Shikamaru for even starting one up with someone like her.

"Shino drools in his sleep." Hinata said slowly, in a hushed whisper. Feeling his eyes on her, Hinata peeked up at the curious Nara, grinning this time at the way she had his attention. It was nice to have the attention of someone else besides her team. With the way she was grinning so earnestly at him, Shikamaru felt obliged to give her time to say her responses and pay her efforts with his sincere attention. If she wasn't being rushed, it seemed as though it's easier for her to talk.

"I-I … peeked."

"How did y — _oh_." Shikamaru belatedly remembered that the pupil-less eyes he was looking into held the Byakugan.

Nodding, she held a finger up to her lips as if she was about to shush him. "It's a secret."

Shikamaru looked back at the girl, unfazed, as her brows furrowed and her lips formed a tight line in seriousness. Not caring enough to suppress his own chuckle and amusement, Shikamaru shrugged and gave Hinata his halfhearted word. For her to be so serious over a secret of that caliber — it was diverting to say the least. Satisfied with this, Hinata slipped back into silence and Shikamaru slipped back into his usual feelings of apathy. Though his eyes weren't on the Hyuuga anymore, out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she wordlessly took care of her teammates. Even if she was a mess when it came to herself, Shikamaru saw that when it came to others, she was precise and motivated. Her moves were calculated, and every effort she made was genuine. As Kiba chatted animatedly with Ino and Chouji, Hinata made sure his jacket sleeves didn't roll back down, lest it get into his bowl of ramen. When Shino began to feel even a bit ignored, Hinata would make some remark about the bug-nin, prompting the rest to build upon that remark and bring Shino into the conversation.

It was obvious that Hinata's heart brimmed with love for them.

It was in that one meeting that Shikamaru deduced that Hinata wasn't like the others — everything about her was quiet. But it was a soothing kind of quiet. And though he did love Ino and his mother with all his heart despite their fiery attitudes, Hinata's quiet nature was a change much appreciated.

Knocking him out of his thoughts, Hinata struck up another conversation to ask him a question. Again, as the amount of stuttering decreased, the amount of time it took for her to _say_ what she wanted increased. Shikamaru kept his patience, to which Hinata mentally thanked him for.

"D-Did Ino and Chouji really…not know?"

Yawning, Shikamaru looked at her through half-lidded eyes. Shikamaru knew what she was referring to, without needing her to specify. He gave her a slight shake of his head to indicate that she didn't.

Her mouth was a shape in a small 'o', before she clamped it shut and nodded. "N-Neither did K-Kiba and Shino." She smiled. The two teams were alike in more ways than one. Slowly, she explained that Kiba was just dense in an overall sense, and that Shino was oblivious when it came to the matters of the heart.

"You knew?" He asked, as he absentmindedly used his free hand to touch his hoop earrings. Usually, he wouldn't have replied, but talking to the girl proved to be natural.

She nodded pensively once more. "They've been d-dating for months. I-It was quite… _obvious_." And, once more, they fell back into silence as their teammates continued to talk and eat.

Ah yes, he should have known. Hinata was quiet for a reason. Much like how Shikamaru would watch the clouds in silence, Hinata would watch the things around her (Byakugan activated or not) in silence. The two of them found solace in the stillness of things; the two of them were able to pick up on the little things that most may have glazed over.

The two of them were now friends.

And by the time Kiba, Ino, and Chouji had finished eating, the two teams had long forgotten about why they were gathered there in the first place. Only their conversations and laughs hung in the air, dispelling in happiness about them. When it came to who would pick up the bill, Chouji had said it would be Asuma — to which everyone agreed harmoniously.

They left the ramen stand together, with Kiba and Ino bickering over Akamaru's smell, and with Chouji and Shino discussing the various types of butterflies. Shikamaru and Hinata were right behind them, still enveloped in comfortable silence that covered them like a soft blanket.

Shikamaru couldn't help but be grateful to Ino for planning the failed meeting.

To see his friends like this, carefree and not worrying about how to decapitate enemy ninja, it was —

"This is nice, Shikamaru." Hinata said, voicing Shikamaru's thoughts. He slightly looked down at her, taking notice that she was indeed shorter than him.

Without looking up at him, Hinata smiled.

"To a-actually have the chance…to be kids."

Wordlessly, he nodded, and faced forward again. This time, as the six of them walked, Akamaru was hitching a ride on Ino's head. Despite fussing over how the pup will end up making her hair a mess, the blonde made no effort to move him. Instead, she had a grin plastered on her face.

And when it came to going their separate ways, Akamaru was handed back to Kiba. Ino, fleetingly remembering why they were gathered, told the Inuzuka male that Kurenai was a marvelous woman. Kiba, in reply, told Ino that Asuma's "not that bad either", which was quickly amended to "a great man" when Ino glared at him. Chouji offered a bag of chips he had hidden in secret to Shino, who graciously accepted it. Shikamaru, remembering that both hands were stuffed in his pockets, took one out and offered it to Hinata.

The two of them found their teams to be alike in more ways than one — and they, themselves, were alike.

Precariously, Hinata took his hand, and gave it a light shake which he returned. And in an instant, his hands were shoved back into his pockets. She thought about how warm his hands were, and he reflected over how small hers were.

"See you later, Hinata."

Hinata perked up at this indirect invitation to see Shikamaru again — whether it was to be the two of them alone, or their teams together. All she knew was that she loved how beautiful today turned out to be, and that her new friends were more welcoming than she expected them to be.

"See you again, Shikamaru."

And the way she looked at him, with such warmth, made Shikamaru recant his original idea of Hyuuga eyes being cold and uninviting.

* * *

Team 8 and Team 10 grew closer as the time went on, much to the pleasure (and surprise) of their teachers. During training, there were bits of information that were thrown here and there about the other team. While Asuma was teaching Chouji how to have a better grasp on his chakra control, the Akimichi talked about how Kiba and Akamaru were so in sync it was as if they were one single entity. Ino talked about how Shino's bugs were not only excellent trackers, but they could be also used in the offense.

When Kiba was learning how to strategically use his abilities and combine them with Akamaru's, he told Kurenai about how much grace Chouji actually had when it came to sparring. Shino, nestled away in a tree, piped up about how Ino's focus was indestructible — as it needed it to be for her clan's technique.

Without fail, Shikamaru always mentioned Hinata—even if it was just a passing sentence that was usually overlooked or drowned out by his own incoming yawn. Likewise, Hinata spoke of the Nara as well, in those whispered statements of hers that were quickly overshadowed. The two teams were close — that much was obvious. But what wasn't obvious was how close Hinata and Shikamaru were.

She would sometimes come upon him while he was cloud watching, and without a word, she'd sit in the same vicinity. He'd know she was there, but there were no proper greetings exchanged. Instead, they'd sit in the silence, with Shikamaru occasionally asking her what the passing cloud looks like in her eyes. Usually, their answers would match; when they didn't, Shikamaru found a new side to Hinata. She was so adamant about what she saw — " _No, t-that can't be a bird! It's a cat!"_ — that Shikamaru would end up laughing, with Hinata's cheeks dusted with a lovely shade of pink as she continued her defense of her cat-cloud.

Sometimes, he'd fall asleep which didn't bother Hinata. Actually, nothing about him really seemed to bother her. Although his short answers, and the way he always seemed disinterested, did make her a bit perturbed, she grew used to it as he got used to her nervous antics (the finger playing, the stuttering — everything).

He took her as she was, and she took him as he was.

But the next time they _really_ talked was after the first set of chunin exams — in Hinata's hospital room.

He didn't really want to visit her — not because he was angry at her anything —he just felt like it was too much work. But, eventually, he got this nagging feeling in his chest that made him suck it up and go. That, and Asuma had noticed that Shikamaru had wanted to wish his cloud-watching buddy well and so the jounin had prodded him to do so. Even though he was slightly angry at his teacher at the time, it was always the Sarutobi's words that gave the lazy kid the final push he needed to do anything.

He went without Ino and Chouji, and had strategically planned his visit so he wouldn't bump into either of Hinata's teammates — or anyone else for that matter. Meeting anyone else on his way there would be too troublesome, he figured.

And when he did walk through the door and enter her room, he regretted it only for a passing second because of how frail and tiny she looked; seeing her in such a state made his protective instinct, that he gradually developed for the girl, rise. All of team 10 harbored a need to protect Hinata. Albeit well hidden, Shikamaru's worry was greater than theirs.

That initial one second of uneasiness melted into the next and dissipated with only just a greeting from her.

"Shikamaru." She greeted, with a half-smile adorning her features. She was propped up with the help of the pillows placed behind her back. Her entire room was white — the pillows, the bed, the walls — and the way she was situated under the blankets made it seem as though the blankets were about to consume her at any given second.

Again, Shikamaru couldn't help but notice how delicate she really looked. She looked helplessly tired which made him frown a bit — looking helplessly tired was _his_ thing.

But knowing that Hinata would become uneasy at him mentioning it, he commented on something else he had noticed.

"Your hair," he began, as he walked towards the vacant foldable seat near her bed, "might be longer than mine now."

Sitting down in the chair, Shikamaru watched the way Hinata first eyed Shikamaru's own spiked ponytail, and then lifted up a hand and uncertainly reached up and touched the ends of her dark hair. Set against a white pillow, her hair looked that much more noticeable.

Her hair color always stupefied the Nara, seeing as how every other Hyuuga had hair the color of chestnuts. And yet, there she was, with hair that rivaled the stunning colors of the night sky. Now that her hair was growing out, Shikamaru only acknowledged the fact that Hinata was indeed a very pretty girl.

And he had told her time and time again that she was, indeed, _pretty_. He found playful amusement in the way she'd transform into a blushing, stuttering mess when he would say that — especially since he always said it in such a deadpan voice.

Whenever she tried to modestly refute his claim, because of her sincere belief that she was _not_ pretty, Shikamaru would yawn and scratch the area near the base of his ponytail, and tell her it was just a mere observation. In the same way Ino and Sakura were pretty, he would explain, she was pretty too.

And at his simple 'observation' she'd give him a sheepish smile and thank him.

At his comment of her hair, and after somewhat verifying its length herself, she nodded and gave him the small smile that she always gave him.

"D-Does it look bad?" She asked. He shrugged. She took that as a no.

After a minute of silence, Hinata asked him why he came. Before he could say that he was checking up on her, she narrowed her eyes and frowned — something she always did when Shikamaru was about to come up with an excuse.

Sighing, he called her a troublesome woman, and that he came to apologize.

Raising a brow, she wordlessly egged him to continue.

"During your chunin exam fight," He began, watching as Hinata's placid expression faltered at the mention of it. "Asuma didn't do anything. I guess I came to apologize for that."

Hinata's look of unease became a look of understanding as she shook her head in an unspoken way to say he didn't have to do that — apologize that is. Kurenai had already given Asuma an earful, and Asuma had said he was being lazy.

"You really a-are his student," She said, with a pert smile. Only somewhat surprised at her tongue-in-cheek statement about how he and Asuma were both known for their languid attitudes, Shikamaru gave the girl a small chuckle.

Before silence could envelop them again, Shikamaru did berate the injured Hyuuga on her choice to fight Neji in the first place.

"You could have died." He said, in a matter-of-fact tone. Hinata blushed in embarrassment, as she mumbled an " _I know"._

He went to delve into the details of why continuing the battle was a mistake, and Hinata sunk further and further into her pillows as she knew Shikamaru was right.

And after expressing his displeasure with what he did, he stretched idly, and told her he was proud of her.

"P- _Proud_?" She sputtered with an incredulous look on her face.

He shrugged. "You _did_ try your best. And you proved to those watching that you aren't just a punching bag."

Somewhat embarrassed by his own said sentiments, he haphazardly added that Kurenai taught her well.

And then she did it again. She looked at him with appreciation, her eyes taking him in, and offered him the one smile that made his prepubescent heart speed up just a beat quicker. Before she could say thank you, she coughed vigorously into her hand, her back arching as she did so. On instinct, Shikamaru rose out of his seat, and placed his hand on her back, as if it would quell her fit of coughs.

It was in that hospital room, smelling of antiseptics and medicine, that Shikamaru realized that he had a tiny, measly crush on the Hyuuga.

And by the way she instantly blushed at how close Shikamaru was, and how she almost jumped at how his hand was on her back, Shikamaru assumed that maybe… just _maybe_ she had a tiny little crush on him too.

Although he was almost as flustered as Hinata was, Shikamaru didn't show it as he feigned his usual laid-back expression, and found his way back to his seat. He played with his studded ear, and Hinata awkwardly reached over to the table beside her bed to get her glass of water.

A wave of silence came over the two, and they both hoped that this fondness of theirs would just be reduced to be a childhood crush in years to come.

* * *

Hinata's affection for Naruto was known to everyone — _especially_ Shikamaru. And although he figured she was only confusing her _admiration_ for him as 'love', Shikamaru still found himself drooping his shoulders just a bit more whenever he saw her blush madly — and sometimes faint — around the blonde.

But that sense of dejection was quickly rectified when Shikamaru crossed paths with the girl, and marveled at the effect that _he_ had on Hinata — even if it was not as strong as the effect the Uzumaki had on her. Though she tried to hide it, there were times her eyes would follow him whenever he was out with anyone. Sometimes she'd forget to be stealthy, and he'd catch her in the act. Her eyes would widen, and she'd nibble on her bottom lip nervously, and Shikamaru would deliver the finishing blow — he would send a mischievous smirk right back at her. That was enough to make her cheeks develop a _lovely_ shade of red.

But as soon as small moments between the two like that happened, it disappeared into thin air — Shikamaru would return to his default expression while Hinata wondered if everything that just happened were the workings of a genjutsu.

Nothing about Shikamaru was there to stay, Hinata realized. His very existence was transient. In one second he was someone who Hinata thought she had all figured out, and the next second would prove to Hinata that she had _nothing_ about the curious Nara male figured out.

The way he was ever changing had enthralled Hinata. Of course — she had sworn that her everlasting love would be Naruto, but Shikamaru made her _excited_. She was always looking forward to when they would next meet; there was always a part of her that wanted to see him.

And when Naruto would end up leaving to train with Jiraiya, it was Shikamaru who would occupy the girl's mind. She'd stop by unexpectedly sometimes, just to 'check up on things'. At first, she only came by when someone else was with Shikamaru — namely someone from Team 10. On those days, she'd have Kiba and Akamaru, Shino, or both of her teammates in tow. Shikamaru would just knowingly grin at her sneakiness.

Sometimes, when she did come alone, Asuma would be at Shikamaru's side — much to her surprise —already engaged in a game of Go with the Nara. The jounin wouldn't even look up from the game at the then-teenaged girl, as he was already familiar with her chakra presence. Instead, he'd just greet her by saying, " _Oi, Shikamaru — your special friend is here_ ".

It was at those times that Hinata would make a desperate attempt to escape, thoroughly embarrassed, only to find that escape was futile. Her body was suddenly not under her control anymore, and she silently cursed the sun for giving Shikamaru a chance to elongate his shadow.

"Stay. I'll beat him soon enough," he would say before letting go of the girl. Hinata, too red in the face to look up, would comply.

True to his word, Shikamaru had defeated his teacher effortlessly. With a sigh, Asuma would take out his lighter and a cigarette, and knock his favorite student's head lightly. Before lighting his cigarette, he gave Shikamaru a knowing look —accompanied by a wink —and disappeared in a puff of smoke in order to leave Hinata and Shikamaru alone.

Every time something of that variation happened, Hinata would always have her head hidden in her hands as she pitifully muttered how embarrassing the whole situation was. Shikamaru would just shrug and sit next to her, waiting for her to say what was on her mind that day.

On those small meetings of theirs, he'd have the chance to learn things about Hinata that he guessed not even Kiba and Shino knew (at least, not as quickly as Shikamaru knew). The girl would take pleasure in spilling the contents of her day to Shikamaru who was always listening despite his lack of replies. She told him of how Neji was warming up to her — and they were at the stage of training together amicably. Their relationship was mending itself, and Shikamaru was happy for her, though his initial anger towards Neji didn't dissipate all that quickly.

She'd confide in him the worries she had concerning Hanabi — feeling as though her younger sister didn't have anyone really looking after her. Of course, Shikamaru would lazily point out that Hanabi did have _her_.

Shikamaru would tell her about what his mother told him to do that day, calling her a troublesome _nag_ — to which Hinata would defend Yoshino and say that it was just a matter of Shikamaru being unbelievably lazy. He told her about Asuma and she'd find out that whenever Shikamaru talked about him, his eyes would suddenly come to life.

Suddenly, without anyone else noticing, Shikamaru and Hinata had become an important part of each other's lives. Shikamaru had that epiphany in the moment one of the Nara clan's deer had come near Hinata, inspecting her silently. She was transfixed by the deer's beauty, and Shikamaru was mesmerized by hers.

Her hair had grown out now, and it was straight like Neji's and almost as long as his as well. The change was gradual, but comparing the Hinata before him to the one from her chunin days did reveal a stark change. What stayed the same, however, was the light flush in her cheeks that appeared whenever Shikamaru came near, and her never changing ethereal beauty.

When Shikamaru had gotten up to join Hinata by the deer, he had taken in her lavender scent that seemed to occupy his thoughts more often than not, and he knew that his childhood crush seemed to have followed him well into his teenage years — not that he minded.

It was in the moment that he gently touched her hair, having locks of it slip through his fingers, that he felt like he was holding the night sky itself in his very palm. It was in that very moment that Hinata, perplexed by what he was doing, turned ever so slightly to look at him, only to find him looking down at her. Slowly, as though the Hyuuga had her own gravitational pull, Shikamaru bent down.

Her lips were soft against his, and he took quiet pleasure in the way she shyly tugged at his sleeves, returning the gesture.

* * *

When Asuma died, Hinata didn't know what to do. She had just lost someone important to her; someone that was important to _both_ team 10 and team 8, someone important to her dear teacher, and someone devastatingly important to _Shikamaru_.

Shikamaru was a mess— an absolute mess. He withdrew from everyone, including his long term friends Ino and Chouji, and his family too. He stopped coming out to see anyone — including Hinata. Slowly becoming a recluse, Shikamaru physically shut himself in his house, and mentally shut everyone else out. Even Yoshino's fiery temperament mellowed down, her own heart in pain as she saw the struggle her son was going through.

Ino and Chouji came by often, and sometimes he'd let them in, wanting to have others to wallow in grief in. They'd grieve together, and they'd reminisce together, but it still didn't do anything to subdue the overwhelming pain Shikamaru had felt.

Hinata came by when she was able to muster the will too. Being turned away time and time again did a number on her, even if she did know Shikamaru was hurting more than anyone else. He had become ultimately unreachable, and she could only fear the worst for him.

When she wasn't at Kurenai's side, she was at Ino's. When she wasn't at Ino's, she was desperately hoping that Shikamaru would let her in. They all needed him, the way he needed them even if he wouldn't admit that he did. Even with Asuma's last words about kings ringing in his head — the fact that Kurenai was pregnant — Shikamaru couldn't bring himself to look at her. He didn't want to look at anyone. He wasn't crying, and he wasn't angry —Shikamaru didn't have the strength to _be anything_.

It was only after having one good cry that Shikamaru was able to find just a little bit of comfort. Even if nothing was quite the same, the InoShikaCho trio was still very much alive. His mother was still a nagger, and his father still tended to his deer. Even in this time of grieving, life tended to flow mercilessly. Hinata was patient, and the thought of her waiting for him to recover, not suffocating him and allowing him to bounce back at his own pace made him count his lucky stars for her — for _everything_. After all, it wasn't as though Asuma was gone forever. Shikamaru had his lighter, and Kurenai had a part of him growing inside her, which Shikamaru swore to protect.

When he was ready, he came to visit Kurenai. Team 8 was there too, staying close in case their former teacher needed anything. At the very sight of Shikamaru, Kurenai found one hand to be touching her belly, and the other covering her mouth as she broke down into tears.

Shikamaru was just so much like Asuma that it hurt the woman to look at him.

And in response to Kurenai's tears, Shikamaru held steadfast to his apathetic look, and vowed to have vengeance. Hinata looked at him wordlessly, as did the rest of team 8. But Hinata could only watch in worry as Shikamaru stood there, basked in indifference, as he toyed with Asuma's lighter.

He came by often, with Ino and Chouji, wanting Kurenai to be comfortable as she went through her pregnancy. And when he did carry out his act of vengeance, Shikamaru still felt hollow inside. But the difference was that he was more aware of those around him — he was more aware of the things and the people that were important to him.

He had smoked whenever he really missed Asuma, but he made sure not to light a cigarette anywhere near Kurenai. While he was walking through the village one rainy afternoon, he found himself in the training grounds. He knew that Hinata was following him, out of concern, and he let her do as she pleased. There was a noticeable distance between them — figuratively, that is. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, and for some odd reason he made no attempt to look at her. He felt as though he was too filthy, too tainted, to bear to be with her.

It was right there that he fruitlessly tried to use Asuma's lighter, wanting to have another cigarette in his memory, when Hinata found herself by his side again. She didn't force him to look at her, but as he clenched the lighter in one hand, she took hold of the other.

She brought his hand to her lips, and she placed a feathery kiss against his knuckles. His hand was cold and moist from the rain, no longer warm, but her lips were still soft like he had remembered. And without words, Shikamaru knew that it was her innocence that had driven him away from her, and it will be her innocence again that will drive him back to her.

Without needing to use words, they both found their way back to Kurenai. No one questioned why they were wet, and no one questioned their intertwined hands.

* * *

The more Kurenai began to show, the closer Konoha came to being embroiled in a war. Ino, having the most medical knowledge, was the one who was by Kurenai's side the most, in a literal sense. Hour by hour, the blonde would check the older woman's vitals, and check the small little chakra ball inside that was growing bigger. Shino and Kiba took care of anything Kurenai needed from outside, and made sure no bad news reached her ears. Chouji had spent his free time studying up on healthy foods, and began to regularly cook for Kurenai, as well as the others. The Akimichi was also quick to adjust to Kurenai's sudden mood swings. Akamaru was just…there. He had gotten so big that the teens would just kind of use the ninken as a bed when one of them was too tired.

Shikamaru and Hinata were, without a doubt, always together. In public they were nothing but strangers, but when it came to being among those closest to them, they had no qualms with being in close proximity of one another.

Whenever the two were on dish duty, Shikamaru opted to simply lean against the kitchen counter and watch Hinata do the dishes. Every time she asked for help, he'd simply say it was too tiring of a task for him. Before she could argue, he would grin at her and he'd say ' _please'_ , to which Hinata's irritation was quickly placated, as she could never turn him down when he looked at her like that. Besides, he'd always end up helping her since washing the dishes together gave them the excuse to blatantly bump shoulders and brush hands.

Hinata found comfort in whatever they were, and Shikamaru did as well. Neither wanted to name what they had, in fear that they'd end up losing it altogether.

They'd still cautiously ask each other questions about the other people in their life — neither wanting to push the other and seem too inquisitive.

Shikamaru would ask about Naruto, and Hinata would always reply truthfully. If she had lied to him, it wouldn't have done either of them justice. Likewise, Shikamaru would answer Hinata's questions about Temari.

"W-Were you two really on a date?" Hinata asked, with no ill intention. She had heard from Naruto that he had seen them together on multiple occasions. Shikamaru shook his head, and said that Temari just preferred his company over the others in Konoha.

"Mm," Hinata mumbled thoughtfully, nodding to what he said. Lost in thought, she remarked that Temari was truly beautiful. Shikamaru agreed, and Hinata looked up to him.

"But you're better." He said, in a whisper of a statement that he reserved only for the Hyuuga. She scrunched her nose up as he rubbed dish soap on it.

Sighing, she got on her tip toes and rubbed her nose against his cheek, effectively getting rid of the dish soap.

The two of them were getting too attached to each other — and as a shinobi that never proved to be good.

* * *

Although both of them still vividly remember the war and all its happenings, they pretended as though it was too painful to recall. In truth, it was so painful that every second was etched into their minds. Everything was just so…convoluted. Nothing was ever "simple" in their lives, but what had transpired in only just months was more complex than anything else.

Sasuke had come back to Konoha (temporarily), albeit without an arm, and was still heavily regarded as a villain. No one seemed to give him too much thought, as everyone was swept up in the aftermath of the war. As he, as well as everyone else, was recovering both mentally and physically from the war, time seemed to stretch and stretch. Each day seemed to drag on and on, and many villagers began to lose their morale.

Rehabilitation while so many of their own were left unburied just seemed meaningless. Bodies upon bodies… no one was left unscarred from the cruelties of war. But with the sacrifice of so many, peace was finally on the horizon. The prospect of peace alone helped them to keep going.

As more and more effort went into rehabilitation and rebuilding, Hinata and Shikamaru grew further and further apart. They would see each other sparingly — only when they bumped into each other at Kurenai's. Team 8 and Team 10 never failed to check up on their 'surrogate' mother. Everyone was busy, but they still made time for Kurenai, and her new born baby, accurately named _Mirai_. Kurenai was usually left to look after Mirai alone, since everything was just so hectic, but the six of them (seven, including Akamaru), made sure to relieve her of her duty on their visits so she can catch up on sleep.

On such a day, Hinata was able to catch a break from using her Byakugan to sift through the rubble and see what could be salvaged, and decided to pay Kurenai a visit. Red, weary eyes looked up at their former student and smiled lovingly.

"You've grown beautifully, Hinata." Kurenai said quietly upon her arrival, careful not to disturb Mirai as she slept. Hinata shook her head in modest disapproval, saying that it was all thanks to her. After silently coaxing Kurenai into giving the sleeping Mirai to her, Hinata carefully travelled to another part of the house, leaving Kurenai to take a quick rest. Humming lightly as she always did when she carried Mirai, the Hyuuga's heart bled for her. She was so preoccupied with Mirai, that she didn't even notice Shikamaru enter the room she was in.

Careful not to wake her, Hinata turned to face him.

They stared at each other, sullen expressions digging into their faces. They were merely shells of their former selves, and though they wanted to salvage whatever was left between them, neither made a move.

Shikamaru could still remember how Hinata would stick out her bottom lip in a pout when he was being difficult. Hinata could still feel the light kisses he left on her forehead, and on her nose, and on her lips. They claim to have forgotten, but that was far from the truth.

It took every fiber of self-control that Shikamaru had possessed to keep himself from drawing Hinata into a hug, and breathing in her familiar scent. Hinata's heart felt heavy as she tried to remain rational and sensible and not blubber idiotic things like ' _I missed you'_.

So in hushed whispers, they pretended that they were only ever friends and caught up in the allotted time they had.

"Have they given Neji a proper burial?" Shikamaru felt a pang of guilt for asking the question as he saw Hinata bite her bottom lip anxiously.

"Y- Yes…" She replied hoarsely. "Your father?"

A morose nod.

Her lips tightened into a straight line as she gave her own subtle nod, still careful not to stir Mirai, as she assessed Shikamaru's current appearance. He looked like he was about to fall over at any minute, with his usual 'neat' spiked ponytail coming apart. Shikamaru looked back at Hinata. Her deep, dark circles, alongside her rather pale face, gave her ghostly appearance. Shikamaru couldn't bear to imagine how many nights she had spent crying.

Neither said a word, as they simmered in silence. They were ninja — loss was inevitable. They had to get used to this. Hell, they were trained for this from the very beginning.

But still, unspoken words of concern traveled between them, as Hyuuga eyes stared into Nara ones. They were never a fan of words, and they enjoyed the way they could communicate without speaking. Inopportunely, that was all left in the past. War had a funny way of changing people – usually for the worse than for the better.

"D-Do you want to hear what I heard someone say the other day?" Hinata said, slowly, treading cautiously. She just wanted to fill the silence. Shikamaru nodded.

"We are not old u-until…regrets start taking the place of dreams."

There was a period of silence before Hinata asked him if he had any regrets. She desperately searched his eyes for something — _anything_. But he had looked away from her, and stared at the floor as he said he had none.

He heard her reply with a small 'oh', and then he brought his gaze up again.

"Do you?" He asked, throwing her question back at her.

Cradling Mirai just a bit closer to her, Hinata looked back at him.

"…No." And she smiled. And that was that.

It was in the way that she turned from him, her hair elegantly following her every movement, that Shikamaru realized that they were both _horrible liars._

* * *

The former team 8 and team 10 still got together, usually at Kurenai's place. Mirai had become quite fond of Akamaru, constantly motioning to be put on him. In response, Akamaru would go around the house slowly; he was being careful so Mirai wouldn't fall.

Shino tried to get Mirai interested in his bugs, but he'd always lose to Kiba and his ninken. As a way to comfort her former student, Kurenai said Mirai wasn't at that age yet, and not to be discouraged. Before Shino could reply, Kiba laughed and said no one would ever be at that age.

And with that, they all laughed, everything falling into place. No one brought up the war casualties or what had been destroyed — instead, they focused on the good. Ino excitedly told Kurenai that a certain _artist_ was courting her.

"You and Sai?" Kurenai asked, biting into a sandwich made by Chouji. _"Really?"_

Ino nodded, her blue eyes dazzling at the mere mention of the man. She praised him to be all that she had ever wanted, to which Chouji had said her academy day self would disagree with her. Quick to return to bantering, Ino spilled the beans about Chouji and Karui, gaining surprised looks from everyone.

Thankfully, no one asked about Hinata and the new ring on her finger. No one brought up the fact that Shikamaru was to meet Temari in an hour.

While the others were caught up in something else, Shikamaru caught Hinata's eye. They were always communicating on their own wavelength. She offered a small smile. She was still beautiful, her hair now chopped at shoulder length.

Shikamaru gave her his own lopsided smile, and Hinata took in how he was really beginning to resemble the late Shikaku, beginning to grow his own goatee. His eyes still held the warmth and mischievous glint that she had fell for in the first place.

His eyes travelled down to her hand, and eyed the ring on her finger with remorse.

Recalling a prior conversation of theirs, he said to her, "It looks like I've gotten old". Following where his eyes laid, he watched as her features softened as she shook her head no.

"It looks like _we've_ gotten old."

And it was with that mind numbing statement that Shikamaru dreadfully wished to turn back the clock, and go back to the time when Hinata had been innocently telling him about Shino's snoring habit.

* * *

 **A/N** a rather lengthy oneshot…. But hello ! I'm back! I hope this didn't seem to out of place. Thank you to those who read it! And if youre here from following rubatosis, I am planning on bringing it back from the dead but I am currently repulsed by how I rushed everything…. Oh well.


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